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Writer's pictureUrsina Fried

Life On My Island of Loneliness


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I lived with an underlying angst that I was alone in the world and ultimately unwanted. It didn’t matter how often people said they loved me or that they wanted me around, I never believed it, and acted accordingly.


Inwardly I existed like an island, feeling lonely, left out, isolated and unworthy of love. I created a range of corrosive coping strategies that ended up ruining the majority of my relationships. I believed that I was bothering people with my mere presence. The ways I felt and acted also messed with my ability to make money and limited other areas of my life, too.


Using the simple yet profound method, I discovered that my birth made me feel “Sad, scared and alone because I’m not wanted”. It made sense, seeing as that was how I’d secretly felt for most of my life. Despite it being obvious, up to this point I had been completely oblivious to carrying this emotionally charged incorrect conclusion around with me, until I solved it. Through the process I was able to get peace with the past event by acknowledging that my parents did actually want me; in fact they never wanted me to be taken away from them in the first place.


There was no reason to be scared because I was reunited, fed, taken care of and ultimately, I survived.


Taking on board these “knowings” from my older and wiser present-day self, I felt calm when recalling the past series of events surrounding my birth and my underlying chronic loneliness dissolved.


This also caused the old toxic belief of being unwanted to have no legs to stand on and to lose its power to adversely impact me any longer. I’ve since learned that even if we begin life with no spoken words, we are able to feel what’s going on from before our first breath.


Later in life, we learn to use words to convey how we feel – but feelings are fuelling the formation of our beliefs from the get-go.


As most of our strong beliefs are created before our teenage years, during a period in our life when we have little life experience, they are often misinformed and downright wrong. Meaning that even the earliest of events can impact our entire life –unless we proactively discover our misinformed beliefs and update them.


This is what my Hypo-Coaching is essentially for, and why it has positively impacted many lives. We have all had challenging events happen to us, and as a consequence, formed a few incorrect conclusions that are working against us being the healthiest, happiest and most successful versions of our self. You can heal the hidden parts of your mind that have been secretly hindering you, and move forward with more freedom and fulfilment.


With love

Ursina.


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