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How to Stop Playing Small Just to Keep Other People Happy

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Stop Playing Small

As women, we have often been conditioned to believe that playing small is necessary to make others feel more comfortable. This belief has been reinforced by patriarchal systems that have historically favored men and relegated women to subservient roles. Consequently, many women have internalized the notion that they should be passive, accommodating, and self-effacing, preventing them from fully realizing their potential and living authentically. In this blog post, we will explore how women play small to make others comfortable, examine the role of patriarchal systems and internalized beliefs, and provide steps to begin living authentically and stepping into your full power and potential.


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Time To Move On

Patriarchal Systems

Patriarchal systems have been in place for centuries, favoring men over women. These systems have created a culture where men hold more power and privilege, and women are expected to conform to traditional gender roles that reinforce male dominance. This has led to a society where women are often seen as less capable and less deserving of respect and recognition.


Patriarchy reinforces itself by encouraging women to be quieter, passive, and to play small. Women are often taught to prioritize the needs and feelings of others over their own, to avoid conflict, and to not speak up for themselves. These behaviors are reinforced by social expectations that women should be nurturing, selfless, and primarily focused on supporting their partners and families.


Internal Stories About Playing Small

In addition to societal expectations, many women have internalized beliefs that reinforce the idea that they should play small. These beliefs may have developed from past experiences, such as being told they are too emotional or not smart enough, or from media portrayals of women in stereotypical roles.


These internal stories can be powerful, shaping how women see themselves and their place in the world. For example, a woman who has been told she is too emotional may suppress her feelings to be taken seriously. Similarly, a woman who believes she is not smart enough may develop imposter syndrome and avoid pursuing her goals.


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Steps to Begin Living Authentically

How to Recognize if You Are Making Yourself Smaller

It can be difficult to recognize when you are playing small, especially if it has been a long-standing pattern. However, there are signs that you may be making yourself smaller to make others comfortable:


  1. Constantly putting others’ needs before your own: Saying “yes” to requests even when you don’t have the time or energy.

  2. Not speaking up for yourself: Staying quiet in meetings or not expressing your opinion, even when you have valuable contributions.

  3. Not setting boundaries: Allowing others to take advantage of you.


Steps to Begin Living Authentically

If you recognize that you are making yourself smaller, here are steps to begin living authentically and stepping into your full power and potential:


  1. Recognize your own worth: Remind yourself that you are deserving respect and recognition.

  2. Identify your internal stories: Challenge and replace disempowering beliefs with more empowering ones.

  3. Set boundaries: Be clear about your needs and communicate them to others.

Surround yourself with supportive people: Seek out relationships that uplift and support you.


Step Into Your Power

If you are ready to stop playing small and step into your full power, get in touch Are you ready to embrace your inner queen and live authentically?



Women have been conditioned to play small to make others comfortable, but it is possible to break free from this pattern and live authentically. By recognizing your worth, challenging internal stories, setting boundaries, and surrounding yourself with supportive people, you can step into your full power and live a life without apology.

Start living authentically today, Queen!


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